So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
