so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
