Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
