don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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