You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My hand turned me down
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
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