Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
