return my video game
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am naked and annoyed.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
