I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
