The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
