Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
