a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize