You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
