We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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