i can't believe i had my finger in that
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
