Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
