shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
