Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
