i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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