In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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