Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
