i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
