you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
