You smell like stripper and shame
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
