I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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