Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
