probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
