I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
