wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
