singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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