there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
