I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
