i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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