Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
You were trust falling into bushes
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