A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
