How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
