Taylor Swift is so right about you.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
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