oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and she was petting her beer can
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
