She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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