He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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