Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
