I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
