Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
