am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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