1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
