you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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