did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
