would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
