Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
