Whod you bang
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
