is your mom at the bar?
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
