We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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