i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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