DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I have aggressive nipples.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
