Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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