Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
where are my eyebrows?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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