you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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